What do you do when after months of pouring your everything into something, you find that for whatever reason your best just wasn’t enough or perhaps not what they were looking for?
There are two options: 1. Loose it entirely and have a melt down or; 2. Pull up your big girl panties and continue to be the person that you know in your heart you are.
The growth we do to prepare for contests and interviews should make us stronger, wiser and better, not break us down and make us bitter. I feel immensely grateful for the knowledge I have gained during the months preparing for this contest and for the connections and friendships I was able to forge with people during my interviews and visits to other cities.
I had the great honor to compete in the Southern California Leather Woman Contest this year with two wonderful women. One is from San Diego and one from the valley, each of them with almost double my years in lifestyle experience and each of them truly delightful individuals. It was a privilege to share the stage with them, laugh with them and bond with them and one of them I am deeply blessed to call my sister and our new title holder.
So what do we do when we “fail”? Personally, I look at what I did, look at the steps I made along the way and see if there were any missteps. In the course of my searching I found one missed opportunity, but no failures. (yay) I nailed my speech (double yay) and overall accomplished everything that I set out to do at the onset of the contest. No matter what the final result ended up being. So for all of this, I am content. (sort of)
So what am I processing? What do any of us process when we put it all out there and fail? The feeling that our best just isn’t good enough.
That, however is nothing but ego, plain and simple. So once my little ego heals I’ll be just fine. The parts that truly matter are that: 1. I don’t feel as though I let down my coach or all the other people who came together to support me on this journey. Doing well by them and for them means the world to me and I accomplished that. 2. Knowing in the depths of my soul that I wouldn’t change a thing about any part of my contest. This has done a great deal to settle my soul. 3. Having had the opportunity to thank the incredible women who started my journey into Leather. This has been one of the hallmark moments of my life and it happened my contest weekend.
I believe to the core of my being that things happen for a reason, the reason may be as simple as an event acting as a catalyst to spur growth, or to give us a base to empathize with someone at a later point in our lives , but all the dots do in fact connect, whether we have the vision to comprehend them or not. I have faith that my not winning the title for my region is meant to be; perhaps it was a lesson for me to remember how to pull up my big girl knickers as it’s been a bit since I’ve had to…. Who knows?
But, whatever you’re dealing with and needing to process, just keep breathing it will pass. If it gets too hard, remember a hot shower makes many things better. If you’re worried about water bills, rent a cheap hotel for the night and take as long a shower as you like.
Mistress Shae Flanigan