In a few short minutes I’m off to Vegas for a whirlwind weekend of sessions and time with friends.
Then come Sunday I will be hightailing it back to the coast to leave for a beautiful Mexican cruise with a wonderful client.

If this is any indication of what 2013 has in store for me then bring it on!

If 2012 has left a legacy, it is one of emotional trials for many of us. Many of us lost friends and loved ones, homes and jobs and if there is a lesson to gain from it all, I believe that it’s simply that life is very fleeting. That that we need to make use of every second given to us and embrace the love and life around us. There are no “re-dos” or “replays” of time that we lost because w were busy in our own minds or filled focusing on things that don’t matter.

2013 is a perfect time and a wonderful year to fill ourselves and our lives with all those moments of bliss that we missed last year. Let’s make a point to make the time in our life to enjoy the blessings and incredible people who have given them to us today, right now. Then if we can manage it, remember to keep that focus to at least once a day for the rest of this year.

To each of you who have brought a smile to my lips, thank you. May 2013 smile kindly upon you and know that I look forward to seeing you in this fantastic new year.

Take care,
Mistress Shae Flanigan

When we’re being our deliciously naughty selves! I’ve had a whirlwind of a time flying around the country making new friends and getting up to my usual debauchery, (all with my usual touch of class and sophistication of course!) I just returned from back to back trips of Chicago, Salt Lake, and Seattle!

I realized upon landing back in LA that I wanted to spend the holidays snugly and warm in the comfort of my home this year. Getting to spend an evening decorating my tree, enjoy nights entertaining friends and treasure making and giving gifts to friends and family again.

With that in mind, I cancelled my December trip and started pulling out my boxes of “winter delight”.

The inside of my home is now twinkling and wonderful, though I must admit I am lacking in my external lighting, but I can resolve that shortly. Up next on my list is mulled wine and home-made gifts… yes, I am a kinky Martha Stewart.

Come January I’ll be back on the road again, first heading off to Vegas, then off to Seattle once more.

So, while I’m in town the question is who will be brave enough to let me decorate them for my website? You can wear a hood. Expect some blood, but not large quantities, it is me after all.

Happy Holidays!
Mistress Shae Flanigan

They say there is a first for everything, I completely agree.

Of course, having my blog hacked was not something I had high up on my “to-do” list, but as we well know, we don’t always get to choose the adventures life throws our way.

However, what I feel wonderfully blessed for is the incredible friends and F/family who came to aide when I frantically looked for help. Funny thing, as a long-retired software tester, I was used to finding the defects in code, not fixing them, so my personal skills only go so far and being hacked exceeded my very rusty skill-set.

My deepest thanks, love and appreciation go out to Vonn, Bryan and Mike, you truly are my hero’s. Thank you for taking the time out of your days to get me back up and running and making it possible for me to make this post before heading off to Chicago tomorrow!

Speaking of Chicago, those interested in seeing me should make sure to check my travel page. There have been a number of new trips planned through March of next year that you won’t want to miss!

Also, don’t forget how simple it is to bring me to your town. You too could enjoy having my undivided attention all to yourself for days on end; (like my Chicago client this weekend) – at a fraction of the normal cost. Call to discuss how to make it happen for you too!

I would love to make this longer, but it’s time for me to go pack a bag of goodies for my trip, so be safe, have fun, and I look forward to speaking with you upon my return.

Take care,
Mistress Shae Flanigan

What do you do when after months of pouring your everything into something, you find that for whatever reason your best just wasn’t enough or perhaps not what they were looking for?

There are two options: 1. Loose it entirely and have a melt down or; 2. Pull up your big girl panties and continue to be the person that you know in your heart you are.

The growth we do to prepare for contests and interviews should make us stronger, wiser and better, not break us down and make us bitter. I feel immensely grateful for the knowledge I have gained during the months preparing for this contest and for the connections and friendships I was able to forge with people during my interviews and visits to other cities.

I had the great honor to compete in the Southern California Leather Woman Contest this year with two wonderful women. One is from San Diego and one from the valley, each of them with almost double my years in lifestyle experience and each of them truly delightful individuals. It was a privilege to share the stage with them, laugh with them and bond with them and one of them I am deeply blessed to call my sister and our new title holder.

So what do we do when we “fail”? Personally, I look at what I did, look at the steps I made along the way and see if there were any missteps. In the course of my searching I found one missed opportunity, but no failures. (yay) I nailed my speech (double yay) and overall accomplished everything that I set out to do at the onset of the contest. No matter what the final result ended up being. So for all of this, I am content. (sort of)

So what am I processing? What do any of us process when we put it all out there and fail? The feeling that our best just isn’t good enough.

That, however is nothing but ego, plain and simple. So once my little ego heals I’ll be just fine. The parts that truly matter are that: 1. I don’t feel as though I let down my coach or all the other people who came together to support me on this journey. Doing well by them and for them means the world to me and I accomplished that. 2. Knowing in the depths of my soul that I wouldn’t change a thing about any part of my contest. This has done a great deal to settle my soul. 3. Having had the opportunity to thank the incredible women who started my journey into Leather. This has been one of the hallmark moments of my life and it happened my contest weekend.

I believe to the core of my being that things happen for a reason, the reason may be as simple as an event acting as a catalyst to spur growth, or to give us a base to empathize with someone at a later point in our lives , but all the dots do in fact connect, whether we have the vision to comprehend them or not. I have faith that my not winning the title for my region is meant to be; perhaps it was a lesson for me to remember how to pull up my big girl knickers as it’s been a bit since I’ve had to…. Who knows?

But, whatever you’re dealing with and needing to process, just keep breathing it will pass. If it gets too hard, remember a hot shower makes many things better. If you’re worried about water bills, rent a cheap hotel for the night and take as long a shower as you like.

Take care,

Mistress Shae Flanigan

One of the great things I love about living is Southern California is the rush I feel seeing a sky filled with clouds after days upon days of intense summer heat.

It’s that heat that for the first time in my life makes me cherish iced drinks and frozen grapes. The heat and glorious sunshine which makes me want to play in the sprinklers like a child again, and that amazing heat which, on a morning like today, makes me treasure a sky of clouds which for 13 years I detested with a deep passion.

There are many times in our lives that we are dead-set in “hating” something. For me, it was the pathetic misty-rain weather of the Pacific Northwest. No matter how much I loved, my home, the architecture, the people, the outdoor activities (tarp included) the phenomenal music scene, and the glorious sunrise and sunsets, it was all over-shadowed by this constant dribbling rain! I dreamed of a life picnicking in parks, strolling down to a beach with sand (instead of the NW rocky shores) wearing sundresses and sandals without my feet constantly getting wet.

13 years of living in conditions that make you unhappy can build to a frustration point that you are no longer able to see the good anymore. I forgot entirely about the wonderful music, the small intimate operas and symphonies. While pursuing around exquisite farmers markets filled with local cheeses, fruits, vegetables, I began to only think about how cold my hands were and how I longed to be in front of a large fireplace reading with a large cup of tea.

Hyper-focusing can be a very dangerous thing and it isn’t until we remove that single point of frustration from our lives that we are able to gain a new perspective, and perhaps, appreciation of it. Of course, here in Southern California, when it rains, it REALLY rains, which I have always loved.

These grey clouds, which used to be my daily landscape in Seattle are here as a temporary reprieve today and for the first time (6 years after moving here) I’m actually enjoying it. It’s funny what a little perspective will do.

So, what’s the rain in your life?

 Mistress Shae Fanigan

Hello everyone,

It feels as though it’s been ages since I wrote you last! In the event you thought I had just gotten caught up with the flow of life and forgotten about you, fear not; I’ve actually been dashing from event to event all over Southern California and then by the time I get home, I’m so wiped I fall asleep.

Between my bouts of fundraisers, grand openings, parties (and of course sessions) some of you might be intrigued to know that I’ve been quite the busy little book worm prepping for my upcoming contest in October. While I’ve always been a reader, it’s never been to quite this extent. I literally have a different book in each room of my house that I’m reading in turn based on which room I find myself in.

I’ve always been more of a hands-on as opposed to book learner, but the books I’m diving into are excellent historical references as to the early days of the Leather community, it’s protocols, standards and rituals. As you might imagine I’m eating it up!  

When I’m not reading I’m pouring over timeline data from 1947 forward to make sure I have all my ducks in a row and while I already felt blessed by my wonderful friends and F/family, there have been a number of times I have found myself in complete awe of my Tribe and their accomplishments and struggles over the years. I am treasuring every moment of my research learning the details of how and where we started and how we’ve evolved as a Leather culture into who we are today.

In just over a month I will stand before my Southern California community and ask them for the opportunity to represent them as their Southern California Leather Woman of 2012-2013. This role is not something I take lightly and I hope that I will be able to serve my community well.

Those who wish to attend the contest, are welcome to. I hope to have your support and to see you there.

Take care,

Mistress Shae Flanigan

One word: OUTSTANDING!

Okay two words: Exhausting….

But Oh, so worth it!

Friday evening kicked off with my “Rope Workshop for People Who Hate Rope” at Dungeon Servitus and we enjoyed it so much that we decided to all meet up again a month from now to make sure that everything covered stuck and change the topic from “dungeon setting” rope work to “real life” rope work. I can’t wait!

It went so beautifully in fact that I am going to do a second class in LA and host it at The Temple. As usual, RSVP only and I will be limiting my class to 10 people so if you want in, please let me know as soon as possible; cost $10.

Saturday morning, the parade kicked off at 11:00 am and I was thrilled and honored to walk with the San Diego Leather Contingent. My goodness, we were a collection of hotness!

2.5 miles later we arrived at Balboa and The Leather Realm where Kinksters and vanilla folk were invited to come play, learn, buy goods and ask questions. Saturday I had the delightful pleasure of presenting Electricity and Violet wands with the ever gregarious Daddy Mike and his very charming Frank. After we covered history and basics we invited the audience to come up and experience the Violet wand for themselves (at our hands of course)…. So many goosebumps and delicious giggles! Goodness, I adore my life!

I’m thrilled that This weekend provided me with the opportunity to spend time with my incredible Leather Family and friends and meet so many wonderful new people…. many of whom I’m looking forward to seeing at this weekend’s Girls Night Out. ;)

I hope everyone had as brilliant of a time as I did, and I can’t wait to do it all again very soon! 

This morning, I am catching up with emails and will get back to you shortly; thank you all for your patience; your Mistress has been having a brilliant time!

In the meantime, enjoy this little snapshot taken just before the parade started. I’ll keep my eyes out for other shots taken during the weekend.

Take care and I will see you very soon,

Mistress Shae Flanigan 

Fireworks going off until the wee hours of the morning…. Two little fur bundles huddled to each side of me quaking each time a new explosion erupted. At least the 4th fell on a week night this year.

I love the history of the holiday and I ADORE that we are an independent country, but some years it leads me to wonder if people have any care about the history of the holiday or even both anymore to ask WHAT they’re celebrating. To many, I fear, the 4th has just become “National Blow Things Up Day”.

I hope that everyone’s fur babies came through yesterday safe and sound and that things will quiet down finally…. Goodness, I sound crotchety don’t I?

My 4th was spent in the company of excellent friends with great food soaking in a Jacuzzi before enjoying an awesome piercing scene and an excellent foot rub. Mmmmmmmm…. *swoon* Truly a lovely day!

Don’t forget, this next week, I will be out of town the 11th – 13th on vacation. I won’t be available by phone or email while I am away so if you need to see me urgently, I suggest doing so before the 10th.

Oh! As another fun treat, take a moment to check out my new Life Coaching website: www.ChooseTheRoadLessTraveled.com Your Mistress has been a very busy lady and is now pleased to announce that she is a Certified Life Coach focusing on the specific needs and interests of the Kink, Leather and BDSM communities.

Don’t fret, I have no intention of hanging up my Domme boots; I simply saw a deep need for a coach who understood our special proclivities, and needs and could create a safe space for our community without judgement or bias.  

Take care!

Mistress Shae Flanigan

As we all know, sometimes Life throws a curve ball your way when you least expect it. My curve ball yesterday was the computer in my car going out.

Some know the saga with my car and that this was my first experience buying a “lemon”. By all rights it should have been a remarkable good car. Everyone who hears of my sage (which I will spare you from) replies “but those are excellent cars!” Yes, yes I know, which is why I purchased one. However, mine is not an excellent car; mine is a lemon which, after this last mess, is about to be scrapped and sold for parts or sold as is. either way, this car and I have had our last round together.

While this fiasco means I will not be able to attend San Francisco Pride, as I now need to deal with purchasing a new car, it does mean that I will be available for sessions through the weekend and next week. Thankfully we have two cars in this household, but as many of you know already, sharing a car in Southern California can become a sticky situation very, very quickly. So I hope to amend this situation before too long.

I hope you all are well and in other great news, it has JUST been decided that I will be teaching a new class “A Rope Workshop for People Who Hate Ropes” on July 20th at Dungeon Servitus, (the Friday before San Diego Pride. More information will be coming soon. It will be focused on actual rope basics: quick ties, table work, basic body harnesses, and simple cuffs. The goal is to keep it casual fun and EASY. I hope you’ll be able to join me.

Take care and I look forward to seeing you soon!

Mistress Shae Flanigan

DESIRE was amazing!! Huge thanks and love to Olga and Blu for their constant dedication and support of the women’s community and for creating one of the most incredible women’s events I have ever had the privilege to participate in. It has been an amazing honor present for you this year. Thank you for such an outstanding opportunity and for such an incredible time. My thanks as well go out to my incredible workshop bottoms for their trust and courage and my outstanding 1×1′s all of whom helped make my weekend unforgettable; THANK YOU!

Ladies, if you’re kinky haven’t had the opportunity to attend, I HIGHLY recommend it; it will truly change your life!

Up next: This Saturday I will be driving north to San Francisco to join my Leather B/brothers and S/sisters in the San Francisco Pride Parade and the wonderful events that ensue thereafter.

After the weekend of Pride festivities I will be enjoying a week of sessions back home then the following weekend on the 20th of July I will be heading south to partake in the San Diego Pride Parade and teach violet wand play in the Leather Realm with Leather Daddy Mike.

If you have yet to experience the joy of violet wands, you won’t want to miss this. Every year our workshop fills the tent to bursting as people crowd around to enjoy the fun!

Take care and if you see me at either event, please stop and say hi.

Mistress Shae Flanigan